Thursday, May 27, 2010


Oh, hey there pals!

Someone once wrote in their blog that they hate it when someone disappears from their blog for a while then apologizes for it... so I'm not gonna apologize.

I'm gonna disappear and you're gonna like it!

Or you'll just stop reading my blog.

Ok, you called my bluff. Please don't do that. You'll break my achy breaky heart.

So I've been absent a bit. Moving on to more important things - some random shit that I decided to blog-vomit into one post.

The past month has been a little nutso. In short, all of my available brain RAM has been taken up by the planning and co-hosting my BFF's bachelorette party and wedding shower as well as looking for a new job.

Remember back when I contemplated my next career move, whether to stay with my current job but at a different office or to seek out something completely new?

Well, after I wrote that post, I'd pretty much decided that I was going to stay at my current job in the new office and got comfortable with extending my contract (which ends tomorrow, btw) at the other office. I decided I was going to stay in my boring (but well paid) little rut and I got relaxed. A little too relaxed.

A few weeks later I spoke with the company that contracts my services and learned that slacker me waited too long to get on the ball and the position at the new office was no longer available.

DOH! *Face Palm*

They did, however offer me a position at their office in Rock Island, IL... on the Illinois-Iowa border. 200 miles from my home. In the middle of nowhere. Um... no, thank you for the offer, but I'm going to have to politely decline. The decision was pretty much made for me... I told them that I appreciated them providing me with contract work for the past 1.5 years, but right now I am not looking to relocate to the Iowa border.

So, about 3 weeks ago I embarked on the world's laziest job search. I say laziest because I have no desire to do any job searching myself, I just want someone else to do all the work for me. Which is why I've been consorting with a healthcare staffing agency. They pretty much just find me a job and bring it to me, like breakfast in bed - but for jobs. It's just a matter of finding the right assignment from the job menu.

I have no fear of becoming unemployed - the jobs are there. I'm being solicited like 1000000 times a day by healthcare agencies all over with basically the same job I'm doing now, but that's the thing - I want to do something different. I want to work with a different population. In theory I could take a position similar/identical to my current position if I got desperate enough, but right now I'm holding out for something I actually like.

So as of today, I have no job lined up for next week. It's actually strange how non-stressed I've been about this process considering the fact that when my life is at loose ends I usually turn into a giant spasmodic ball of stress. I'm actually more stressed out about the fact that I'm not stressed out. Is that weird?

I hope to start a new assignment the week after next, but while the search for jobs in my current field continues, I've also been considering what other awesome careers would suit me. Because I'm awesome and therefore deserve an awesome career.

Here are some of my ideas in no specific order:

1. Dog photographer - Well duh, I love dogs. I love photography. Put 'em together? Bam. Ultimate job.

2. Dog masseuse - I pet my dog all day long, now I can get paid for it! Yippee!

3. Rickshaw driver - Benefits include getting some really toned legs towing people around the city in a pedaled rickshaw.

4. Bike messenger - I dunno, these guys just seem to piss people off and that seems like fun.

5. Bartender - I tended bar in college. If anything I've become LESS mature since I've graduated, so why not?

6. Professional blogger - Think anyone wants to pay me to take a month long mental hiatus from blogging at random?

7. Snakes - Um. Not sure what. Just something with snakes.

8. Vegan baker - I baked my brother an awesome vegan cake with strawberry filling for his 32nd birthday last week, but when I bake I tend to make a big mess and swear a lot, so I might have to post one of those parental advisory stickers in my storefront window.

9. FBI agent - I've been watching a lot of X-files reruns, can you blame me for wanting to chase down UFOs on the government's dime?

10. Sharpie Artist - I can't guarantee my art will be any good. But at least I'll be high enough from the fumes that I won't be able to care.

So. Those are my shitty ideas. Suggestions welcome. In the mean time I'll continue seeking out a regular person full time job and I'll probably gripe about it the whole damn way, but not here. Like I've said, this is my happy place, so my rants will be kept to a minimum.

Finally, I will get back to gracing (read: forcing on) you with the musings of my rusty brain, which is still recovering from being my life's personal chew toy. What does that mean for you, reader? Just bear with me while I brush the dust off and oil the gears to get back into making semi-intelligent and/or witty posts. I anticipate some awkward/shitty writing at first, but with massive editing and some time I'll get back into the swing of things.

I also want to get back to the original purpose of my blog and resume the Dear Diary saga. If you are relatively new to reading my blog,  I originally started it because I found my old childhood diaries in my parents' basement and thought the musings of 9-14 year old T were hilarious and needed to be shared with the interwebs. If you want to read the past entries, you can locate them by using the "Dear Diary" search term in the search box on the right. One of these days I'll compile an archive, but for now? You do the work, I be lazy.


steff said...

yay! you're back!
i just want to say that i (unfortunately) 100% completely and totally know where you are coming from on the job issue. without going into it too much i have been working at a soul-sucking shitty job for almost 3 years now, that i hate (duh) and yet i guess i am too lazy and lacking the self-confidence it takes to actually go out and pursue my dreams bc, like you, i'm fucking awesome. so i should be DOING something awesome for a living, right?!
i totally could have had a promotion at my current job, pay raise, more freedom, etc., but i didnt take it bc it scared the shit out of me that it would mean i would have to continue to work HERE for god knows how much longer and then what if i never left! GAH!
ive been SERIOUSLY toying with the notion of just quitting my job and selling my shit on ebay for some immediate cash and then getting into the buy & flip business online until i can get enough cash to open up a real secondhand store.
other than that, the best suggestion i can give is to just take a moment to reconnect with yourself. take a deep breath, look around you and be adventurous! maybe you will find exactly what you are looking for.
the biggest mistake i feel ive made in my job pursuits is feeling like i HAD to take a job bc i needed the money and then getting stuck for too long at a place i hated. all i know is the next job i have WILL be a job i actually enjoy bc im tired of spending such a large part of my day being unhappy.
we've only got this one life so i think we deserve to do the things that make it worth living.

Simply "T" said...

Steff - WORD! I think it's easy to get comfortable in a routine, even if you hate it. I've been burnt out on this job since last October and I kept the job because of the money, even though it made me want to stab myself in the eye with a fork. I'm actually kind of glad that the job slipped through my fingers, it's forcing me into something I'm a little uneasy with, but I think ultimately will turn into an exciting new challenge! Good luck to you with your efforts to achieve your goals!

Anonymous said...

After reading your post about your attempt to ride your bike, perhaps any job that requires you to pedal forward is not a good idea. I'm glad you're back - looking forward to reading this blog again. I honestly thought you might have died or been severely injured - perhaps in a coma - it's better that you're not.

emily said...

yay! i am glad you are back. i was totally digging your blog after you found mine and then you just stopped writing. full disclosure, in a total self absorbed sort of way i was worried it was because you were freaked out that i sent you an email saying we are probably neighbors...because you recognized our walgreens in the picture of Mary. you could still be totally weirded out that i emailed you, but at least you are writing again; thus making me happy. because really, it is about making me happy. right?

Simply "T" said...

OG- it warms my heart that you are
glad I'm not dead.

Emily- I never got your email! I'll have to check my spam folder. That really bums me out because I am usually good at getting back to people via email and it makes my insides all weepy (like crying, not oozing) that my non response made anyone feel like I was avoiding them. Definitely not freaked out - it only makes that we'd be neighbors since we use the same walgreens. I actually have a confession to make. I'M the puker! Haha, only kidding.

But hey, since we live so close, we should go out for drinks some time and go back to your apartment where we can vomit violently and show the puker what's up. Kind of like dueling banjos, but with more vomit. Who's the creepy one now? Lol it would take a pretty extreme move to skeeve me out.

In all seriousness, if you ever did want to get a drink some time or just spend compulsively at walgreens, I'd be down! Try the email again or send me another comment here!

emily said...

So, I left you a comment on my blog...commenting on your comment that you left me a comment back.

Anyway, I will send you an email and not using Google Friend Connect because I learned it is the anti-friend connector.

P.S. not creeped out at all that you suggested coming back to my apartment and violently vomiting together. i'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing.

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