Sunday, March 21, 2010

Modern Mating Rituals Part I: Introduction

I've been a lazy blogger, forgive me.

For a while I've been planning to share some of the more ridiculous scenarios I experienced while being single. I'm just now finally getting around to it, and there were enough weird stories that occurred during the 18 months between my long-term college boyfriend and R that I decided to make this, not one post, but a series of blog posts which I am going to call, "Modern Mating Rituals."

Part I: Introduction 
Before we get to the down and dirty, I have to preface this series with a brief introduction to my dating background and my philosophy on choosing a potential date. Basically, what motivates me to choose one male specimen over another.

Over the next several days I'll also explore the bar scene, online dating sites, and online networking sites and how they function as the modern day forum for hookups, much like the rainforest is to humping red-butted monkeys.

It's been about 3 years since I've actually had to deal with "the singles scene," and I can honestly say that I don't miss it. But before R came around, I was deeply entrenched in the scene for a few years. I had gotten over a rough break-up and I was kind of anxious to fill the void in companionship that my ex had left when we split, and at the age of 22 I hadn't been single for any significant period of time. I had a lot of single girl behavior to take part in, so I tried it all - meeting dudes in bars, subscribing to for a few months, and I'm even ashamed to admit... virtual flirting via Facebook and Myspace.

I made the most of those 18 months. Through the above-mentioned methods I had a ton of first dates, about a handful of 2nd dates, and exactly one 3rd date.

Why so few 2nd and 3rd dates? Well, I operate in this manner: on first glance I know whether or not I am attracted to someone. If I don't find someone attractive right off the bat, I never will, regardless of how funny or cool they may be. No physical attraction? Sorry, you are in the friend zone forever.

My biggest problem in finding someone to date is this: I can be kind of picky. I just have this annoying habit of picking out the one or many miniscule things about a person that irritate me or turn me off and get hyper-focused on those traits. And let's face it, no one is perfect. Some people find that mole or butt-chin charming or quirky. Not me. I just find it annoying. And that freckle or gap in your teeth has the potential to turn me off forever. And furthermore, I refuse to lead someone on or waste my time or anyone else's. No attraction? No chemistry? No second date. Probably 85% of my first dates fell into this category.

Example: I once couldn't date a guy because his name was Larry. The name just didn't do it for me. I couldn't date another guy because his earlobes were too thick. And I felt skeevy about another guy because his hands were the exact same size as mine. Ick. No second date for you, Larry.

Okay, so let's say someone makes it to a second date. They have passed the preliminary tests and now their personality has to jive with mine. Doesn't always happen. And again, I take a no nonsense approach to dating, so no third date if we don't click by the second date.

One guy made it to the third date, there may have actually been a potential relationship there, but he subsequently moved out of town and I wasn't going to do that whole long distance thing. Until I met R. If you are really interested, you can read the whole story here.

So, in the next several posts, I will discuss the typical pick-ups and mating rituals you can observe in our modern day dating jungle. I'll also be sharing some of the more hilarious, weird, creepy experiences I had while I was single. And there were a LOT of them, since I seem to be a weirdo magnet.

Next Time: The Bar Scene


Miss N said...

I once wouldn't follow up on a second date with a guy for various reasons, but the one that stuck out? He didn't like chicken wings. So the fact that you couldn't date a Larry, not too ludicrous :-P

Anonymous said...

You and I have the exact same rules for dating. I wonder if everybody has these rules.
Moles creep me out.

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