Very Very Very Very Very Very....

As promised, today's entry will be diary entries only. This actually works out for me, because I am exhausted...the sleep-on-the-couch method did not work last night, and I only got about 15 minutes of sleep. Oh wait, I said I wasn't going to complain. Crap. Okay, forget I just said that (don't even get all smart with me and tell me that there is a "delete" button on my keyboard).

And away we go...

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Momma Said Knock You Out...

I suck at life, for serious.

My brain has been in a haze lately... I think it's probably because I've been needing to take sleep medication on a nightly basis for a while now. I've been seriously considering cutting it off cold-turkey and just letting the natural exhaustion take over, but that usually takes... about a week.

So I decided that before taking such a drastic measure, I should try some other methods first. I decided to work out more (because anything is more than nothing, right?) and maybe... just maybe I'd be so tired that I'd pass out.

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Note to self...

This is just a quick one before my real post later. I just found this hilarious and I had to share.

So, I'm an insomniac. Maybe I'll share the full story about that another time, but truthfully it's not that interesting. I used to be able to sleep, and then I stopped. End of story.

As a result of the insomnia I take Ambien to help me sleep. In another of my posts I mention that I occasionally make strange purchases while on Ambien, but I usually remember it later - nothing like those crazies who sleep-drive and have no idea the next day.

Also, I guess I make "To-Do" lists. I remember hopping out of bed around 12:30 last night because I thought of about a million things I needed to do and I was worried that I'd forget one of them, so I wanted to write them down.

This morning, I emerged from my bedroom to see a little yellow notepad sitting on the coffee table. I reviewed my list for today... mostly normal stuff - Send an email, return a phone call...etc. Then about half way down the list, I read one item that just makes me stop in my tracks. Hilarious.

Smack dab in the middle of my to-do list it reads:

"Go to work"

Hahaha. Because apparently I felt I needed reminding. Awesome.

I hate to admit it...

But Tyra Banks was right.

As much as Tyra Banks annoys the crap out of me... I will admit (though not proudly) that I TiVo every episode of The Tyra Show.

Recently she did an expose on the dangers of texting while driving. In this episode she also had a segment in which she discussed the top 10 most dangerous foods to eat while driving. I looked for the full list online, but I was unable to locate it, but I will share with you what I remember.

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Cut off your nose to Speidi-Face...

So remember yesterday when I bitched for like 7 hours about the irresponsibility of Heidi Montag's plastic surgeon allowing her to be under anesthesia for the duration of 10 procedures?

This article surfaced today, thus further emphasizing my point.

Heidi? Come on. "Oh, yeah I almost died... but really, it's not a big deal. PS. I want bigger boobs."

Anyone remember what she said back in 2007 when she gave her interview to US Weekly about her "Revenge Plastic Surgery?" I used to subscribe to US Weekly and I have a memory for unnecessary details about unimportant thing, so naturally, I do...

Her quote, verbatim:

"Right before I went in, I was like, What if I don’t wake up? Oh, this is scary. Then I thought, I don’t care. If I don’t wake up, it’s worth it. I just wanted it so badly,"

Well, Heidi, you almost got your wish.

And we almost got ours.

Okay, I guess all I needed to do was say that I didn't have anything to write about to light my creative fire.

So, as I do most days, I spent a few minutes catching up on my celebrity gossip. My celeb gossip site of choice is The Superficial. Admittedly, it's gone downhill in the past few years - the writing is not quite as clever and the site is now more about models in swimsuits and bikinis than actual celebrity gossip, but it still serves its purpose.

One of the biggest stories making it's rounds right now is Heidi Montag and her amazing technicolor dream-face. Now, personally I don't think there is anything wrong with a little nip and tuck here and there (even though the show, Nip/Tuck completely blows now.... I still watch it.)

If it helps boost your self esteem a little and makes you look/feel a bit fresher and you have the available funds, then sure - go for it. But I also think that if you can't feel good about yourself without going under the knife, you'd probably be better off spending that cash on some psychotherapy. But, off my soapbox for now. Not for long.

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Meh.

My brain has not been functioning up to it's normal snarky level. I've started multiple blog posts, only to read them over and deem the writing to be "sucky," deleting them so that I don't have to impart my suckitude all over you, my readers (all 5 of you.)

Tomorrow I plan to bite the bullet and just write. My preemptive apologies for any sucky writing.

Maybe if I take a nap and wake up in a cold sweat I'll be more creative. Done. See you all in a few hours when I return to post my Dear Diary moment. 26 year old T may not have words for you, but I can guarantee 12 year old T had words to share. Wise words.